A new year….A new outlook…A new Post!

2013 is gone…it’s dead and I killed it! YAY! Sure, the past year brought out some good things in our lives. I just felt that the negative seemed to outweigh the good in a lot of ways, both personally and creatively. Even Pop culture seemed to have a darker edge to it.

Iron Man 3 (An excellent movie) gave us a neurotic, damaged Tony Stark. Man of Steel (Spoiler commencing in 5….4…3…2…1) featured a Superman whom killed his enemy as a last resort rather than having a firm line against killing. (I warned you about the spoiler…the movie stank so don’t bother.) Worst of all was the harbinger of death that was the MTV Video Music Awards of 2013….Let’s not even speak of that unimaginable horror.

The tounge of the apocalypse.

The tounge of the apocalypse.

Not all of 2013 was bad…there were a few bright spots and despite it all, through the grace of God…we made it out alive! So, with that venom leached out of my system, let’s put the bad behind us and concentrate on the good. Here now, submitted for your approval is a list, just like all the other lists that Nerds such as myself love to compile. This is the list of….

THE BEST OF THE NERD WORLD 2013
(This is all my opinion. If you disagree…nothing at all will happen.)

BEST COMIC SERIES OF 2013

Astro City

Thankfully, Hollywood Producer Jon Peters had nothing to do with this giant metal spider.

Thankfully, Hollywood Producer Jon Peters had nothing to do with this giant metal spider.

As with every single year, 2013 saw the release of many different books, some new, some re-launches and reboots. The book that had me hooked with every single issue was Astro City, hands down! This was Kurt Busiek and Brent Anderson’s return to the hit series that they launched in the mid 90′s.

This new volume brought us a strange new character known as the Broken Man…a somewhat cosmic being (SPOILER AHEAD…He might also an inmate of a loony bin) who narrates the first issue and warns of a new menace. Busiek returns to doing what he does best and giving us super hero stories as witnessed by everyday people. Brent Anderson and Alex Ross help bring these already believable characters to life, creating excellent interiors (Anderson) and photo realistic covers (Ross). I think the best issue of the new launch is issue 5. This story deviates from the usual formula where either a hero or man on the street is the focus. In this issue, we are once again in the presence of the Broken Man and he is putting us in the driver’s seat as we witness his crazy home made timeline. We, the reader wander off and receive small tidbits of really promising storylines that we have to savor like an appetizer before the Broken Man pulls us away. It is an amazing issue that showcases the storytelling strengths of both Busiek and Anderson with one of the best covers Ross ever painted.

BEST SINGLE ISSUE OF 2013

Locke and Key Alpha #2

Seriously, this was one out of a billion cover variants from this issue.  They were all really good!

Seriously, this was one out of a billion cover variants from this issue. They were all really good!

The Locke and Key saga from IDW by writer Joe Hill and artist Gabriel Rodriguez started waaaay back in 2008 and was released in a slow drip. Like morphine in an IV drip at a hospital. Also like morphine, the series was wildly addicting. Telling the story of the Locke family and their battle with evil, the book gave us all too human characters over the years. We meet the Locke Family and soon witness the murder of patriarch Mr. Locke by a psychotic young man named Sam Lesser. Soon the family moves to the ancestral Locke family home, the Key House and that’s when things really get weird. The house is host to mystic properties, most importantly magical keys that grant various powers and abilities. Soon a generations old evil is released and an unfinished family story is forced to unfold. Alpha #2 gives us the final curtain call…in the most perfect way possible. (Sorta Spoilers ahead) Evil is not only vanquished, but pardoned and released from eternal torment. Those whom were thought to have fallen return (Okay, just one. Everyone else who dies in the Drowning Cave stays dead. Sorry.) And the family grows, leading to the possibilities of future adventures. I do not recommend this story for a new reader, it’s not that kind of single issue. However, in one single issue, the amazing story is wrapped up in a brilliantly written and lavishly illustrated bow.

BEST NERD FLICK OF 2013

WORLD’S END

Speaking of Variant...this comic book style "World's End" movie poster rocks!

Speaking of Variant…this comic book style “World’s End” movie poster rocks!

Just like with Locke and Key, the Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost Science Fiction, Action Comedy World’s End is the ending chapter in an amazing work of art. What started in Shawn of the Dead and continued in Hot Fuzz is wrapped up in World’s End. While the movies aren’t related story wise, they are all created by the same people and loaded full of Easter Eggs and bonuses that tie each film together. The major tie is that an Ice Cream flavor from the Cornetto company is featured some way in each film. This story is the most mature and dark of the three, it still has a major amount of laughs and thrills that any warm blooded Nerd would love. The movie handles action in a way that makes me very, very excited to see the Edgar Wright Ant-Man movie. If Wright can make a pub crawl this exciting, imagine what he can do with the Avenger’s most over looked member.

BEST SUPER HERO FLICK of 2013

IRON MAN 3

Another cool poster from Collider (The World's End poster is also from there)

Another cool poster from Collider (The World’s End poster is also from there)

Since this movie came so early in the year, it is sort of hard to believe that it was released in 2013. Giving us a psychologically damaged Tony Stark, we bear witness to his world crumbling apart after the events of the Avengers. Directed and Co-Written by Shane Black (And Co-Written by Robert Downey Jr.) Iron Man 3 was everything that a super hero follow up should be…intriguing. The movie pulled you in because it didn’t follow the all to predictable path. Even the end of the movie left many people wondering about the status quo of Iron Man. The villain of the film was another really cool twist because it gave us something that we just didn’t see coming. Was it true to the comic book…every part but the Mandrin’s movie origin was as close as you would expect from a movie adaptation. Whether you’re a comic book fan or just an action movie addict there is something to be found for everyone. Unless you were a fan of the traditional Mandrin…but he was sort of a walking, talking racial slur, so you shouldn’t be a big fan.

BEST ETC. OF 2013

Here is a quick list of the people, places and things that I Nerded out on in 2013

Day of the Doctor (The 50th anniversary of Dr. Who)

John Hurt as The War Doctor

Superior Spider-Man becoming a surprisingly great book

Arrow on television

Agents of SHIELD

Ben Affleck cast as Batman (Just kidding.)

A look at 2014…since we’re actually in 2014.

As the new year approaches, my family and I are all in brighter happier moods. Yes, we are still not on our feet financially but our faith has strengthened ten fold, so did our love. (Sorry to get sappy, but the truth is the truth.)  Good things are on the horizon for 2014.  I am going to start working in Special Education again, my lovely wife, Mercedes has just returned to college to finish her Childhood Development degrees, My teen, Michelea is even more teenish than ever before (Yay?) and is going to start her Junior year of High School sooner than I want to think about, and the toddler is turning Three and her throat condition is officially gone.  (YAY!)

On the writing front, my good friend Gerry Castro and I are working on a Magazine about the Paranormal that will see the light of day later in 2014.  We’re shooting for Fall….Summer if at all possible.  The magazine will tackle all sorts of topics related to the weird and unexplained.  Of course it will have a sense of humor and wit that you’ve come to expect…or hate.  More details on that to come…If you have any stories or encounters with the paranormal, feel free to contact me.

Back in this blog, expect to see more comic book reviews, movie news, and some more obscure exposes on Nerd topics.  Next up….After our move from Alhambra to East Los Angeles, I finally went through my box ‘o books and found that old Strayer stories book about M.L. Strayer.  I will post the very rare 1954 Interview of Stayer and her Husband just months before they disappeared.  Plus…A Strayer update of sorts….2014 is going to be a wild year.

The scariest comics…in the world! Well, maybe not the world…

Last time, I wrote about the creepiest comic books that I have yet to read, now let’s gather around the warm glow of the campfire and talk about the scariest comics that I’ve read…and if you haven’t, you should too!

3.  Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol (Published by DC comics and written by Grant Morrison with art by Richard Case.)

Doom Patrol was created in 1963, appearing in My Greatest Adventure # 80.  The team consisted of misfits who had amazing powers and abilities that isolated them from the rest of society.  Niles Caulder, a wheel-5  If that sounds a lot like the X-Men to you, you’re not alone.  Doom Patrol creator Arnold Drake swore that Stan Lee had stolen his idea and turned it into the X-Men.  Doom Patrol debuted only 3 months before X-Men #1, with the time it took to publish a comic in the 60s, that’s not nearly enough time to steal a concept and produce a comic book.  Unless, as Arnold Drake believed, Stan Lee had a mole in DC comics who was working there to steal ideas.  I think it’s a little far fetched, but regardless, Doom Patrol never had the appeal that X-Men had and still has.  After issue # 86, My Greatest Adventure became Doom Patrol, until low sales caused DC to cancel the title with issue #118.  Rather than see his creations fall into the hands of other writers, Arnold Drake killed them all off in the final issue.

Of course that didn’t stop anyone and Doom Patrol returned in other incarnations.  In 1977 writer Paul Kupperberg and artist Steve Lightle introduced a new team in Showcase # 94.  In 1984 Kupperberg and Lightle would launch the new volume of Doom Patrol with their brand new team, consisting of Robotman, Cliff Steele, the lone survivor of the original team.

2.  Bizarre Adventures (Published by Marvel comics)

Okay, this is sort of a Magazine, but it is a Marvel Magazine done in the comic format, but black and white and printed in magazine size.  I say it counts!  Bizarre Adventures was part of Marvels foray into the magazine world, publishing really experimental stories that you just wouldn’t see in the regular four colored comic books.  Stories like Larry Hama’s adventures of a drunken Japanese god who helps a Samurai defeat a demon who rides his evil wife instead of a horse.  However, in terms of horror, the scariest story was the adaptation of Stephen Kings Lawnmower man, adapted by King himself with awesome art by the one and only Walt Simonson.  If you didn’t think the amazing writer/artist of Thor and X Factor could draw a scary story, think again.  His art moves the strange tale into twisted and sinister territory that puts the suburban landscape on its head.

1.  Wasteland (Published by DC comics written by Del Close and John Ostrander)

There was a weird time in the realm of DC comics when they began publishing some very dark, and downright scary stories and had no real imprint to put them.  This was a time before Vertigo, right as Sandman and Swamp Thing were taking off.  Wasteland was an anthology horror book that popped up around that era and quite frankly, scared the hell out of me for various reasons.  Now, I never thought the art was spooky, some of it was pretty cartoony, but the stories that Close and Ostrander put together were very atmospheric and drew you into worlds that were convincing, real and horrific.  The most controversial and chilling story was Dissecting Mister Fleming in issue #11 about a father who snaps and dissects his son’s biology teacher, much like the poor little frogs he had made his students dissect.  For me, the scariest story was This Time we win in issue #5 about a forgotten veteran from some unknown war who warns of an oncoming apocalypse, but is ignored.  As the bombs drop he begins laughing manically and his image fades to white and his laugh is reduced to a popped word balloon.  Written in a time when nuclear war was still a very real threat, it was terrifying because it pulled at the curtain that everyone draped over the reality of nuclear annihilation in an attempt to forget and ignore it.

Spooky Comics I must read!

‘Tis the season for all things spooky…fa la la la la la la la la.  This is the time of the year when we all gather around, watch classic horror films like Dracula, Frankenstein, Friday the 13th and of course, the horror masterpiece Mariah Carey’s Glitter

The villagers are right behind her with torches and pitchforks.

The villagers are right behind her with torches and pitchforks

Beyond the spooky movies, every Halloween season, I like to go on the hunt…or haunt for spooky comic books that I have yet to read.  Yeah, I read a lot of damn comic books, but believe it or not, there are some comics that I have not read.  Somewhere out there in the ether of online auctions, comic book store back issue bins and some mystical yard sale there awaits some spooky comics that I’m waiting to read.  Here are the top three acclaimed spooky comics that have not crossed my path yet.

3.  Alan Moore’s  Neonomicon:

"yeah...I think I'll just wait here for back up...or maybe I'll just go home."

“Let that be a lesson for you:  Never ask an alley dwelling space squid for a dollar!”

What happens when the comic book legend that created Watchmen and revitalized the Swamp Thing gets his creepy ringed hands on H.P. Lovecraft’s mythology?  The product is Neonomicon.  This has been recommended to me for a while now by a lot of comic connoisseurs.  It’s a book that I am scouring the nerd world for.  I liked most of Moore’s stuff through Avatar Press, this features the work of the talented Mr. Jacen Burrows, so I’m sure it’s a great read, like most of their collaborations have been.

2.  Ferals:

Disney's gritty new remake of Old Yeller, directed by Michael Bay

Disney’s gritty new remake of Old Yeller, directed by Michael Bay

This is another one by Avatar Press, who are no strangers to creepy, bloody comic books.  Ferals is a new take on the werewolf folklore by writer David Lapham and artist Gabriel Andrade.  I’ve been a huge fan of David Lapham since his early days as a very talented artist with Valiant comics.  It wasn’t until I started reading Lapham’s self published Stray Bullets that I realized what a great writer he was.  I’m not familiar with Gabriel Andrade, but I’ve seen some of the art from the book and it looks pretty good, in a gruesome, disturbing way.

1.  Locke and Key:

The book also spun off Mime and Wolf, an edgy new cop show that will debut on Fox in 2014

The book also spun off Mime and Wolf, an edgy new cop show that will debut on Fox in 2014

Out of the three comic books I wrote about this is by far the one I know the least about, which makes me want to read it even more.  Written by novelist Joe Hill with art by Gabriel Rodriguez and published by IDW, Locke and Key is the story of a gothic mansion in New England that contains powerful, supernatural keys that can change the people who possess them.  The story also weaves in H.P. Lovecraft mythology with classic gothic noir.  For me, the draw is Joe Hill who as a novelist has proven that he can tell one hell of a creepy, atmospheric story with realistic characters that you’ll be drawn to.

Well, that’s it for now Boils and Ghouls, next installment will feature my favorite creepy comics…

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. for the non-nerd (With a lot of nerd stuff thrown in!)

Is there a show that you’ve jumped into?  Is there something that you binge watch on ye olde Netflix?  Did you get LOST for 24 hours with a  bunch of MAD MEN in some kind of AMERICAN HORROR STORY with the SONS OF ANARCHY while your friend DEXTER was BREAKING BAD habits?

"Don't forget about my show...what was it called?  Are we even on the air still?"

“Don’t forget about my show…what was it called? Are we even on the air still?”

Well, get ready for a new show to add to your binge watching list.  Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D!

The new show is a spin off of the current Marvel Studio films and the season will expand upon the Marvel cinematic universe.  S.H.I.E.L.D is a clandestine government agency that deals with big picture threats to the United States and the world.  In the films and the television show, the acronym stands for Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.  In the comics the acronym originally stood for Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division (Debuting in 1965 in Strange Tales # 135, created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby) for no apparent reason, the name was changed in the 1990s to Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.    No matter what the name means, the show is taking a very logical step by bringing popular characters from the Marvel Studio Films and putting them on a weekly action show.  Before I delve to deep into the show and its history, I would be committing a crime against humanity if I didn’t note that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is sadly, not the first time the comic book agency was given life on the small screen….

"Co-Starring Pamela Anderson as the Red Skull filmed entirely in slow motion!"

“Co-Starring Pamela Anderson as the Red Skull filmed entirely in slow motion!”

Yes, in 1998, the same year internet geniuses gave us Google, the evil geniuses at Fox gave us Nick Fury Agent of SHIELD starring David Hassellhoff in the title role.  Nick Fury is the head of SHIELD, in the comic books.  He created the idea of an all encompassing agency that would protect the world from major threats, but scrapped the idea….only to find that some U.N. type organization took his premise, created the agency and appointed him the Director.   So, some executive thought it would be great to see the guy who played Michael Knight as the not so tough head of a global defense agency.  Great casting!  Well, it went straight to television and was widely ignored.  Although, I’m sure it was huge in Germany.

"Let us all eat bratwurst, drink craft beer and watch Baywatch!"

“Let us all eat bratwurst, drink craft beer and watch Baywatch!  I’m not even German!”

Years later, Marvel comics created a new line of comics to reach a younger audience.  They ditched the decades of history and created an alternate universe that was streamlined to be more like a widescreen action movie.  This ULTIMATE UNIVERSE existed alongside the traditional Marvel Universe, so readers could choose which take on the characters they want to read about.  Of course, the company wouldn’t be mad if you bought every book they ever published.  Including the Adventures of Squirrel Girl.  (She’s a real character…and she fought and defeated Dr. Doom.  Don’t ask.  EVER.)  The first books were Ultimate Spiderman (A younger, just starting out version of Spiderman) and Ultimate X-Men (A darker, more cinematic version of the X-Men with plenty of twists on the original stories…Like Wolverine being a founding member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants and Colossus being a closeted homosexual.)  Ultimate Nick Fury debuted in the pages of Ultimate X-Men.  His look was rather different from what it would soon become…

This Fury looked more like Sonny Spoon (Mario Van Peebles) than Samuel L. Jackson.

This Fury looked more like Sonny Spoon (Mario Van Peebles) than Samuel L. Jackson

It wasn’t until the Ultimates (The Ultimate Universe version of the Avengers) that Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch reinvented the Nick Fury Character and made him look just like Samuel L. Jackson, however the creators didn’t ask Jackson for his permission to use his likeness.  So in an attempt to keep from being sued by the highest grossing actor in the world…when Marvel Studios began planning the Marvel Cinematic Universe that would eventually give us the Avengers…they asked Samuel L. Jackson if he would like to play Fury.  He agreed and the character first appeared to almost everyone’s surprise at the end of Iron Man.  Of course, throughout the film, S.H.I.E.L.D was represented by Agent Phil Coulson, played by Clark Gregg.

Coulson's first SHEILD mission was to infiltrate a sub par Julia Louis-Dreyfus sit-com.

Coulson’s first SHIELD mission was to infiltrate a sub par Julia Louis-Dreyfus sit-com.

Coulson became a fan favorite, appearing in almost all of the Marvel films, eventually gaining a larger role in the Avengers….Until he was killed by Loki, the god of moving the story along.  This brings us to the show, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D where Agent Coulson is revealed to be alive and well, despite being stabbed through the heart by Thor’s evil bro.   Not-Dead Coulson assembles his crew of Level Seven agents to tackle unusual comic book-ish threats that have arisen since the Super Heroes came on to the scene.    If the show left you scratching your head and wondering….”What the hell is an Extemis?” here’s your handy dandy nerd guide.

Why is Robin from How I met your Mother on this show?

The very Canadian actress, Cobie Smulders (Who does play Robin on How I Met Your Mother) played Maria Hill in the Avengers and reprised her role for a brief cameo on the Pilot of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  In the comic book world, Maria Hill is a top level S.H.I.E.L.D agent and answers only to Nick Fury himself….and probably his bosses….maybe even to the Pope, heck I don’t know.  Nick Fury is presumed dead and Maria Hill is appointed his successor.  A lot happens in between then and the current Marvel stories (Including SHIELD being run by Iron Man, dismantled by the Green Goblin and replaced with his HAMMER organization), but now Maria Hill is back in command of SHIELD.

I hear all this babble about LMD what the heck is that, a delicious new snack at McDonalds?

No, an LMD is not a snack.  Rather than standing for Lettuce, Meat and Doritos (Coming soon to Taco Bell!) LMD actually means Life Model Decoy.  Basically its an android that looks like a specific person, keeping that person out of harm.  Read onward for why this nerd factoid matters.  (Does any of this really matter?)

Is Coulson Alive or Dead?

Okay, so we saw Phil Coulson die in the Avengers, but in Agents, he’s bouncing around with witty one liners and being all pervy toward Maria Hill.  His story is that he recovered in Tahiti for a while and his death was just a story used to motivate the Avengers into…Avenging.  The second the show was teased and Clark Gregg hit the convention circuit, fans speculated that the Coulson killed in the Avengers was an LMD.  However…when a SHIELD medical officer is chatting with Maria Hill about Coulson he says:  “He doesn’t Know?” and Maria Hill says:  “He can never Know.”  Now, this leads to a lot of speculation and mystery as to what that means.  Maybe Coulson did die after all and this Coulson is an LMD who doesn’t know he’s not the real deal.  Perhaps he’s a clone.  Who knows, maybe he is the smoke monster from Lost.

What is an EXTREMIS?  Is there an ointment for that?

In 2005, comic book writer Warren Ellis and artist Adi Granov created the Extremis storyline.  In this six part story, we learn about a computer code like virus which can be placed in the mind of a human and take over the healing part of the brain.  This in effect upgrades the user, allowing him to adapt to anything that comes his way.  Tony Stark injects himself with the Extremis virus and modifies the virus, allowing him to use it to interface with technology.  The movie Iron Man 3 first introduces Extremis to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  it is essentially the same thing, upgrading its users to be super soldiers.  However, these soldiers are unstable and if they get too angry and worked up can turn to human bombs.  The “Hooded Hero” in Agents of SHIELD is revealed to be a test subject of something called Centipede which uses an insect like device to interface with the Extremis virus.

Will Nick Fury appear in the show?

Nick Fury himself, Samuel L. Jackson wants to be on the show!  However, according to various interviews he gave, Jackson claims that Disney/Marvel Films can’t hire him for the show due to contract problems…blah, blah, blah.  Samuel L. Jackson says that if he was on the show, he’d love to appear like Charlie on Charlie’s Angels and just play a voice role.  Maybe he could be represented as a hologram message.  Either way, I’d love to see him on the show…he is the head of SHIELD after all!

Will there be other Marvel Heroes on the Show?

It’s hard to tell yet.  I think the Hooded Hero in episode one was a teaser and we are going to be treated to actually established Marvel Heroes and villains.  However, there are some people on the web making there wish lists of characters they want to see on the show…and they include X-Men and Spider-Man related characters.  Due to the film rights, Marvel Studios can’t use Spider-Man characters or X-Men characters. Ghost Rider, Blade, and the Fantastic Four are also off limits.  Here are some heroes that can (but probably won’t appear): Namor (The king of Atlantis and a real jerk), Dr. Strange (The mystic Sorcerer Supreme), The Punisher (Ex-Navy seal whose family was murdered and he began a one man war on crime), Shang Chi (A character based on Bruce Lee, appeared in the Deadly Hands of Kung Fu…awesome) Luke Cage (Formerly Power-Man, a street level, invulnerable hero for hire)  Iron Fist (Luke Cage’s partner, Danny Rand, a mystic fighter) Ms. Marvel (Carol Danvers is caught in an explosion of an alien device and is given super powers)

Why Should I watch this crazy show?

Because it’s not crazy, it’s got great potential and you could be watching this….

 

Is this a hostage situation…or are we just parents?

You’re just sitting in your living room, minding your own business.  Perhaps you’re watching something on television.  This program is not animated in any way, shape or form.  It’s the Evening/Morning/mid-afternoon/half a second after tea time news with Bimbo Fakesmile and Jack Botox.  Nothing animated about that (Unless you count the two re-animated corpses the affiliate dug up to read the news to you…I do!)  As you listen intently to the weather report, given to you by a man so tan he looked like a giant carrot who fell asleep in a tanning bed on Mercury, you hear a loud, demanding voice echo throughout your living room.

Cheer up, you could be forced to watch this freak.

Cheer up, you could be forced to watch this freak.

 

This loud yell shatters any notion you had of peace.  “I want to watch ELMO! NOW!”  Your mind reels.  Who is this busting into your home and yelling demands at you?  Is this some pint sized Hans Gruber?  Worse yet, are you going to have to climb through ventilation shafts with bleeding feet?  You quickly look around for this would be shot caller and realize that it’s your toddler.

"Where's my juice box, Mr. McClane?"

“Where’s my juice box, Mr. McClane?”

 

Yes, your peace and quite is now being held hostage by a person who is just now learning how to pee in the toilet without falling in.  In my case, this was my 2 1/2 year old, Luna wearing nothing but her super heroine shirt and the Eagle cap her grandpa Pretzel gave her.  (His name’s Russell, but she says pretzel.  It fits, he’s a bit twisted and Bavarians love him….I have no evidence to back up that last claim.)  “I want ELMO!  What’s this?”  She says as she stands defiantly in front of the television.  “This is news, Looney.  I like to watch it.  Can you watch it with me, quietly?”  I asked.   Her reply was no nonsense and to the point.  “No!  No news!  You can’t watch the news again, never ever.”  I stood up and reached for the volume, trying in vein to tune her out.  This of course brought the “The News is too loud!” chant.  Followed by the “ELMO is quieter!” method of reasoning.

Rather than argue and battle with a toddler until my head felt like it was full of angry fire ants….I relented and turned the channel.  This of course led to applause which was almost instantly followed by “I want to watch news with you!”

 

Unearthing words from the heart

Moving and settling in to your new domicile can be like an archeological dig.  You break ground, dig around for a long, long time, coming up with nothing but rubbish, broken pottery and those little white tables that come on large pizzas for no real reason. 

Where else are pixies going to get their  tiny furniture?

Where else are pixies going to get their tiny, cheese covered furniture?

Then, after a long time of stumbling around (I’m the one doing most of the stumbling) you come across a rare treasure.  In light of our upcoming 5 year anniversary, I found the wedding vows that I wrote for that special day.

When I was writing the vows, I stayed late after work and worked on the school computer.  It seemed like I spent hours crafting such a relatively small collection of words.  I was so nervous that I rehearsed my vows in front of my colleagues, Ms. Narachi and Ms. Stifell.  When they both started crying, I knew that I either hit the jackpot or wrote the worse thing ever spoken to a bride.

As it turned out, even the Deacon, Sergio whom presided over the ceremony was nervous, this being his first wedding and all.  His daughter, Monica was a good friend of my wife and she had known him for a very long time….but heck, even Deacons get jitters, right?  Deacon Sergio forgot to ask us to share our vows, we were able to read ours at the reception.  Here’s what I wrote:

Mercy,

I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time.  Now that it’s here, I want this moment to last forever.  You bring out the best in me and I believe I bring out the best in you.  When we’re together we make a super team, like Superman and Wonder Woman.  Batman and Robin…well, only if Robin was a woman.  Standing here with you, surrounded by all of our loved ones, I feel like the wealthiest, luckiest man on the planet.  The way the Trix Rabbit might feel when he finally gets a bowl of Trix brand cereal.

       Instead of gaining a delicious fruit flavored breakfast cereal, I will have the ultimate treasure.  The woman that I cherish more than any other human being on the planet.  And I vow that I will hold this treasure, this marriage as close to my heart as I possibly can.  Whether its turning on the bathroom light for you in the middle of the night because you are scared, or making sure you have your socks laid out for you in the morning, I will always be here for you.  I Vow to always be honest and truthful with you, even if that means admitting that I’m wrong.  I promise to always be faithful and loyal.

     You stir up feelings in me that no words can express and no painting could ever illustrate.  You’re my wife now and no force in the universe, even Darth Vader could keep me from being the best husband I can possibly be.

Mercy, I love you and can’t wait for the wonderful, bright future that we have in store for us.

Now, five years later, the feelings I have for my beautiful wife are still the same, probably even more intensified after all we have been through.  I’d like to think that I have lived up to some small measure of what I promised those five years ago, it sure doesn’t seem like it sometimes.  I know that I’d never want to spend my life with anyone else….not even Princess Leia in the gold bikini.  Plus, isn’t Carrie Fisher like a thousand years old now.  Please, don’t put her in a gold bikini in Episode VII!  Wait, what was I talking about…oh yes, Trix!

Five years later and Trix are still for kids.  Damn segregationists!

Five years later and Trix are still for kids. Damn segregationists!

A novel tease….

A lot of things are changing around here for my family and I.  We just moved into a great new place, and I am actively trying to gain a new job, one with more benefits and potential for growth.  I applied for a few places, but there is a great position with a Printing company that I am really excited, so if you are the praying type, please throw us a prayer bone, if you will.

Amidst the changes and the hustle and bustle, I am still trying to piece together a novel.  Yes, like Jessica Fletcher from the great CBS series, Murder She Wrote, I am seeking to become a published author.

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While Murder She wrote is arguably the greatest show about widowed senior citizen mystery novelists ever created, I’m writing something a little bit different.

The story is titled: Catch my killer.  I don’t want to give too much away, but it is a mix of mystery, comedy, suspense and the supernatural.  Here is a short teaser….

Waves crashed mournfully onto the cliff side and the full, Mid October moon peered through the thick evergreens, lighting the way for Lucille Davershim.  The Fifty-Two year old retired hairdresser walked her hulking German Shepherd Kiss Kiss down his favorite hiking path, her neon running shoes crunching the sandy gravel beneath them.  Having just had a fight with her overly willful Nineteen year old daughter, Lucille decided to blot out the rest of the world for the time being, listening to whatever music she crammed onto her smart phone.  The small ear buds succeeded in blocking all but the muffled sound of the Pacific Ocean and the panting of her gargantuan dog. 

It was somewhere between Sweet Child of Mine and Living on a Prayer that Lucille noticed her dog had begun to whine nervously.  Something that he rarely did.  Lucille didn’t hear the slow paced crunching of gravel that seemed to echo her own footsteps.  She didn’t notice when the crunching sped up and began to outpace her.  Kiss Kiss stopped and whipped his huge furry frame around and began barking.  Lucille popped the ear buds out just in time to hear the heavy breathing right next to her left ear.  A soft, breathy voice spoke in a seemingly forced whisper.  “Hi, Lucy.  We need to talk about the stars.”  

Lucille Davershim tried to scream, she tried to run, but as the gloved hands wrapped around her throat, all she could do was release her humongous dog, hoping he’d help.  As Kiss Kiss ran in the opposite direction, disappearing among the trees, all Lucille could think of is that she always hated that dog.    

I still have a lot of work to do on it.  Let me know what you think.  Until next time…Stay Nerdy.